Stalker/Harrasser Creepy Hypocrite Guy.

DiamondPuppy0809 · March 2009

Okay, I need advice before I get myself into trouble over someone else's problems. My best friend, who is such a nice, caring person (who couldn't even step on a disgusting, creepy spider -shudders-) is being harrassed by a (I swear he's a crazy-jealous creeper o.o). Anyways, it's gotten bad. He used to be an outsider, a loner, a downright unliked guy. I felt bad for him, but I was shy person last year and didn't talk to him (plus, I'm devoted to my already-best-friends, and I thought he was kind of scary--he's tall and big-boned). My best friend started talking to him, trying to cheer him up be being his friend. We played soccer with him (whilst the other soccer players made fun of him... :[) She was his friends even until now, about a year later. Now that she's realizing he's really controlling and spazzy, she isn't hanging out with him as much because, well, he scares her. He goes to counselling over his problems and cries during lunch period and break. I can't help but feel sorry for him when he does, but otherwise I just downright ignore him since he's always spazzing and screaming at my best friends and I. Especially my one best friend that tried to be his friend! Apparently a long time ago he asked her out. Bull****. He never did; but he did get very emotional over her not 'considering him to go to the dance with'. At that time, she was going out with another boy, so she tried to explain that to him and he just completely ignored her and kept stressing that she should've went with him. (Before the dance, after that, my best friend dumped her boyfriend and didn't go to the dance--not because she felt bad for the guy, but because she wanted to.) Since then, he's had a huge jealousy pact that has just recently become distinct like mad. It's because she's going out with a different boy, one she actually really likes and he likes her back. These are the words always argued back and forth between my best friend and him: "You think he's better than me!" -guy "No, I don't, you're my friend, and I LIKE him." -best friend. "WELL YOU SAID NO TO ME WHEN I ASKED YOU OUT!" -guy "You didn't ask me out. And you're my friend, I don't like you like that." -best friend Then he blabbers on more about lies and how she 'betrayed' him by saying she wouldn't go out with any guys and then she did. He's absolutely controlling. She hates it, I am ready to punch his face in, and he's a huge hypocrite. Thing is, we get in the crap because HE'S in counselling from some other kids that bugged him LAST year. We're told to leave him alone. WE DO! But he comes to us to pick apart all his lies and throw them in our face. What really bugs me is he gets away with it! I was absolutely astounded that he did this just this morning: *Best friend's boyfriend puts his hands on best friend's shoulders while she's sitting on at the table* He starts talking to her and asking if (the creepy, stalker guy) is upsetting her. "DON'T TOUCH HER!" -creepy guy "I was talking to her" -boyfriend "WELL THAT'S NOT THE WAY TO DO IT, GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!" -creepy guy Vice Principal: "Okay, you two, come to the office." Creepy guy gets in trouble for yelling, gets the boyfriend in trouble, and walks out without much of a punishment except a lecture! Honestly, it's guys like these that get away with controlling women/their wives when they're older. The other day, my best friend's boyfriend wanted to take my best friend to the movies and creepy guy came up after eavesdropping and said, "What movie? What time? What day?" My god. If he could, he'd tail around on my best friend and scream at her. She's really upset. Now, before I do that kid a favor and punch his face in, any advice, suggestions, comments? Alright. Thanks for reading guys! I need some other opinions before I go physco on him... :[

Pandalove · March 2009

Wow, sounds like A CRAP LOAD of drama. lol. Anyways, it sounds like 'creepy guy' has issues. But, do you know about his home life? He could have family problems that have made him this way. He probably can't help but be overbareing. And I have had friends that got picked on in elementry, preschool, etc. And it still effects them to THIS day. It's not something that can just go away, he has been mentally been abused. It's a good idea to give him space. But, since he keeps coming back, there's not much to do. The most you can do is to continue to be his friend. Don't be mean, seems he has enough problems to work out. And eventually it will die down, he needs someone to be there for him. And that's all you can really do. :)

Erra · March 2009

"You will either calm down and be a friend, or you will get out of our lives." Seriously. He's not her boyfriend, and your best friend has the obligation to place definitive boundaries than can not be ignored through willful ignorance. And this way, at least he has a choice. I don't feel that problems should every be an excuse. You can't do that in real life and say, "Sorry, I'm having issues." You'll end up in jail for harassment.

DiamondPuppy0809 · March 2009

Pandalove wrote:

Wow, sounds like A CRAP LOAD of drama. lol. Anyways, it sounds like 'creepy guy' has issues. But, do you know about his home life? He could have family problems that have made him this way. He probably can't help but be overbareing. And I have had friends that got picked on in elementry, preschool, etc. And it still effects them to THIS day. It's not something that can just go away, he has been mentally been abused. It's a good idea to give him space. But, since he keeps coming back, there's not much to do. The most you can do is to continue to be his friend. Don't be mean, seems he has enough problems to work out. And eventually it will die down, he needs someone to be there for him. And that's all you can really do. :)

Whenever we try to just be his friend and let him in, he complains or insults about one of us and screws everything up. And, when we try to talk to him and explain, he cuts us off and rambles on about lies. He's controlling. He's allowed to explain, we're not. He's allowed to hate us, we're not. He's allowed to get us into trouble, we're not allowed to yell at him to stay away if he can't be mature. He's a downright hypocrite. And, no, I don't know too much about his home life besides that his parents are crazy about him getting As in school (which is normal). It doesn't sound like his family has anything to do with it, but you never know.. And I do realize that the bullying will affect him. But just because it is, doesn't make it right for him to bully/harrass us.

DiamondPuppy0809 · March 2009

Xaetian wrote:

"You will either calm down and be a friend, or you will get out of our lives." Seriously. He's not her boyfriend, and your best friend has the obligation to place definitive boundaries than can not be ignored through willful ignorance. And this way, at least he has a choice. I don't feel that problems should every be an excuse. You can't do that in real life and say, "Sorry, I'm having issues." You'll end up in jail for harassment.

Exactly. We have a theory to explain him: boomerang (sp?). Boomerangs always come back, even if you throw them far. They come back. My friends say he should be more like a frisbee... xD (Odd theory, but it explains). And it's not like we're mean to him and then he spazzes at us. We'll be randomly talking and he'll come up and nag in our faces about how we're all mean and bullies. Honestly. It stresses my best friend out and I want to wring his neck (I won't for mine and my friends' sake, but...) It doesn't help that the guy always has the school's top staff (principal, vice principal, counselor) are on his side, either. We tell him to leave us alone and we'll do the same, and he comes back and bothers us. x.x

Erra · March 2009

What if you explained that his behavior is very persistent and threatening?

DiamondPuppy0809 · March 2009

Xaetian wrote:

What if you explained that his behavior is very persistent and threatening?

Mhmm, see. I've tried to explain that to him. (Of course, as said, I am NOT allowed to talk to him according to HIM). The staff is finally realizing that his problems are only caused by his behavior, but they're not letting go from his side to nobody's side but the school's.

Pandalove · March 2009

Whenever we try to just be his friend and let him in, he complains or insults about one of us and screws everything up. And, when we try to talk to him and explain, he cuts us off and rambles on about lies. He's controlling. He's allowed to explain, we're not. He's allowed to hate us, we're not. He's allowed to get us into trouble, we're not allowed to yell at him to stay away if he can't be mature. He's a downright hypocrite. And, no, I don't know too much about his home life besides that his parents are crazy about him getting As in school (which is normal). It doesn't sound like his family has anything to do with it, but you never know.. And I do realize that the bullying will affect him. But just because it is, doesn't make it right for him to bully/harrass us.

You should file a report if he keeps at it. I don't see that there is much to do for him.

DiamondPuppy0809 · March 2009

Pandalove wrote:

Whenever we try to just be his friend and let him in, he complains or insults about one of us and screws everything up. And, when we try to talk to him and explain, he cuts us off and rambles on about lies. He's controlling. He's allowed to explain, we're not. He's allowed to hate us, we're not. He's allowed to get us into trouble, we're not allowed to yell at him to stay away if he can't be mature. He's a downright hypocrite. And, no, I don't know too much about his home life besides that his parents are crazy about him getting As in school (which is normal). It doesn't sound like his family has anything to do with it, but you never know.. And I do realize that the bullying will affect him. But just because it is, doesn't make it right for him to bully/harrass us.

 You should file a report if he keeps at it. I don't see that there is much to do for him.

Yeah. Good news, though. He's beginning to back off. I hardly even knew where he was today, and when a boy was arguing with me (just about silly, random topics, haha) he said, "Listen to her. She knows. Trust me, I know." I was like :shock: Did he just admit he was wrong or something?! So, I think he's starting to realize that he was being immature and just downright nuissance(sp?)-like.

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Stalker/Harrasser Creepy Hypocrite Guy.

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