Are you going to bug me the rest of my life?

Hibachi · April 2010

Okay, this is going to come out like a teenage angst. I respect my parents, I'm glad they care for and support me. However, they are constantly breathing down my back - for example, I was joking around about something a week ago so my mom called me today asking what it meant and freaking out. I've always been afraid to talk to them about my problems, if I wanted something, I couldn't even talk to my mom about boys because they would blow it out of proportion/say no, Jeffrey is the first guy that they actually liked. I still get nervous asking for anything/wanting to talk to them, I mean if you can't go to your parents who can you go to? Jeffrey is the only person I go to for ANYTHING (and even then I beat around the bush more than straight saying it), and I also like to talk to my VP friends.

Anyways, moving out time is getting closer and I just want peace and quiet - my parents constantly keep asking where I plan to keep my animals and whatnot. (I don't think I have met anyone even remotely close to my animal obsession) and it's quite annoying that they are STILL saying that I can't have any more pets, I am not even in their house. My mom told me today that: "No more animals until you have your own house an live on your own property" I don't think she will even approve of that. Is that really for her to decided? I don't think so, THEY aren't taking care of them, buying them, feeding them, etc. I believe all this animal nonsense started when they bought me my first puppy (my poodle) they NEVER have let me live down the fact that I never took care of her (pooty training, bathing, etc.)....I was FREAKING SIX YEARS OLD!!! And I don't even remember asking for a puppy. If anything, I care(d) for her much more so than they do - they won't even take her to the vet to get checked for a possible tumor, and yet I can't take her when I move because she is too old. When I was gone three months no one bathed her, she was so dirty she was pretty much brown. And you know what's worse? As soon as I came home my dad says 'Your dog STINKS! Give her a bath!" I had a great trip, thank you. :roll: Gee I wonder why she smells... However, my dad has pretty much given me the right to do what I want after I graduate, it's my mom who can't let go - she keeps telling me I am not "grown up" for goodness sakes, I am almost 18!!! I know this rant is scattered, but I had to get this off my chest and it's just whatever came to my mind. XD Cookies to those who read.

Faeriegirl83 · April 2010

*huggles* A lot of that rant struck amazingly close to home. Except, for me, its a bit different. My family could be the cover team of a Stereotypical American Family magazine. As long as, of course, I was conviently left out of the article. It's not quite your problem, I think. The mom is amazingly loving, sweet, your typical angel with slight mother superiority issues. The dad is a businessman. And can flare a temper that almost - almost - rivals mine, though most of the time he's awesome. After long years I've worked them into buying my dog, my kitty being a b-day present from when I was five, and the horse I'm going to be leasing in a week. And I, myself, look like a normal teenager girl. Then why am I so eager to not be one of that plain, monotonous family? But its . . . so . . . frustrating. I can't wait to move out. Every day is constricting, I'm enclosed in a box that despises the branching out of its inhabitants. I talk with my family, yes, but I never reveal anything about myself. They attempt to read between the lines and come to the wrong conclusions. I guess I just feel like I've mentally outdone my parents and most of my peers, save a few close friends who manage to keep up with my racing thoughts. A strange feeling for a person my age. See, I can outrun the drama and anger that most teens feel, but that leaves me with too much extra room in my head. XD Lol, yep, you can say I want independance. Typical teen - accept, in some ways, I'm not. I'm not making any sense. XD I can't even explain it, but I tie my feelings a bit in with yours. 0.o I should have just made my own rant topic. *headdesk* Luv you, Lollipop, if you read through all of that. XD

Hibachi · April 2010

Tina Wolf wrote:

*huggles* A lot of that rant struck amazingly close to home. Except, for me, its a bit different. My family could be the cover team of a Stereotypical American Family magazine. As long as, of course, I was conviently left out of the article. It's not quite your problem, I think. The mom is amazingly loving, sweet, your typical angel with slight mother superiority issues. The dad is a businessman. And can flare a temper that almost - almost - rivals mine, though most of the time he's awesome. After long years I've worked them into buying my dog, my kitty being a b-day present from when I was five, and the horse I'm going to be leasing in a week. And I, myself, look like a normal teenager girl. Then why am I so eager to not be one of that plain, monotonous family? But its . . . so . . . frustrating. I can't wait to move out. Every day is constricting, I'm enclosed in a box that despises the branching out of its inhabitants. I talk with my family, yes, but I never reveal anything about myself. They attempt to read between the lines and come to the wrong conclusions. I guess I just feel like I've mentally outdone my parents and most of my peers, save a few close friends who manage to keep up with my racing thoughts. A strange feeling for a person my age. See, I can outrun the drama and anger that most teens feel, but that leaves me with too much extra room in my head. XD Lol, yep, you can say I want independance. Typical teen - accept, in some ways, I'm not. I'm not making any sense. XD I can't even explain it, but I tie my feelings a bit in with yours. 0.o I should have just made my own rant topic. *headdesk* Luv you, Lollipop, if you read through all of that. XD

-gives cookie- I read it all and can relate. :P I grew up in a Christian home, a very strict one at that. I feel the more constricted I am to doing what I want, the more I want to do it. There are things I have yet to tell my parents, if I ever plan to tell them (which is about a 0% chance I will.) I just don't feel comfortable around them, I don't even show PDA when they are around with me and my boyfriend, because my family is just awkward. My grandpa was like "how are you going to fall in love without kissing and hugging" and I'm like we do, just not around you guys - and not everything requires touching to be in love. I HATE being pressured into doing something I am not comfortable with, it breaks me down. Another thing I hate, is that my dad keeps telling me "you'll want to come back to Florida, you will miss us" clearly, I am having a great time here on my own then being there. This is going to come out harsh, but, I don't miss them. I mean, I love them and everything - I just need a break after 17 years dealing with this, I would prefer to support myself.

RoyalRaccoon · April 2010

I talk to my mom about a lot, but I've never been able to talk to her about boys. She freaks out just because all of my friends are boys. I've never really pursued boys or gained interest in dating because of it. My mother says I can't buy any more animals as well. There's not much you can do to change it. After all it is their home, and their rules, so they do have every right to set those rules. Just imagine you owned a home and rented out a room with the rule that no pets were allowed, but someone brought them anyways. You'd be pretty darn upset even if they were taking care of them, and keeping them out of the way. Or imagine it as a "no parties" rule, but they threw one. Even though they clean up the place, and replace anything that may have been damaged, you're probably going to be so ticked off about it that you tell them to leave. The best option is to stop thinking about it until you move, or it's just going to keep bothering you. Once you get your own place, you get to make all the rules you want. 18 isn't a magic number either. Your probably going to wake up feeling the same, and being treated the same. The truth is that a lot of parents will probably look at their children as being too young until they are at least in their mid 20s, because almost all 18 year olds are too young for a lot of things. It's the same thing as above. It's best to just respect it until you can afford to move out.

Alabama · April 2010

A mother's perspective on her children. We see you just about every day of your life and though maybe once a year we have confirmation from a Dr that you are indeed getting taller and growing and the clothes we buy for you are bigger and we do notice at odd moments that you aren't a child any longer, the changes are so gradual, we sometimes forget you aren't the 5 year old child we held hands with to cross the street. Sometimes, we want to forget that and keep you that child that looked up at us with a huge smile full of love and trust. My oldest graduates high school next month. She's not supposed to be that old. She's not supposed to have a life of her own yet. I still want to take care of her and protect her. I'm so used to worrying about her. Is she happy? Is she being responsible? Yes, I taught her to be responsible and now I have to pay the price for that teaching and let her do it on her own. It isn't easy. After 18 years, I've settled into that caregiver position in life and luckily, I do have a 5 year old so I don't have to completely retrain myself on a new position. Most aren't so lucky and have to completely readjust their thinking and actions or have children just a couple years behind. You growing up and leaving makes them think that soon their other children will also be leaving. Some do it easily, others not so easily. My parents didn't want to let go and it created a fight in which we didn't speak to each other for over 2 years. I understand now and wish I'd had more patience with them and not have been in such a hurry to go it alone. I probably could have used their guidance in those two years.

Hibachi · April 2010

@Sushi- I was afraid to GO anywhere because of the boy thing, my friend angela and her boyfriend where going to the mall and asked if I wanted to go, so I asked if I could go and my dad said no, JUST because Angela's boyfriend was driving. That's the thing it's NOT in their house, I'm not in Florida right now, and I am going back in May to get all of my things. And for me, 18 is a big number, in America it is by law considering you an adult. I couldn't buy an apartment at 15, 16, 17, because I am still considered a child in the eyes of the law, because only "adults" can be put under legally binding contracts, even the majority of animal shelters won't allow you to adopt any animals unless you are 18+. @Alabama-I wish my parents saw it your way, although your probably a cooler parent. xP My parents have my younger brother (who's going to be 14 this year), my younger sister (who will be nine this year). Only when I talk about moving out do they focus on me, other than that I tend to myself - I have always been independent, and have been wanting to get out for 3 years. Other than that, my sister is their favorite, I'm guessing it's because she's "the baby" but you can def see it, when I was little and I would go with my mom to the store and ask for something she will say no, but if Larissa wanted a toy she would say yes. My sister actually thinks more about us she always ask mom to get me and my brother candy. XD And, my brother is the "golden child" he makes nothing but straight A's. While I pretty much barley made it through school, my parents also refer to me as the "experiment" whatever they do wrong with me they will fix it with the next 2. -.-

SunnyDaysDontLie · April 2010

Avla wrote:

@Sushi- I was afraid to GO anywhere because of the boy thing, my friend angela and her boyfriend where going to the mall and asked if I wanted to go, so I asked if I could go and my dad said no, JUST because Angela's boyfriend was driving. That's the thing it's NOT in their house, I'm not in Florida right now, and I am going back in May to get all of my things. And for me, 18 is a big number, in America it is by law considering you an adult. I couldn't buy an apartment at 15, 16, 17, because I am still considered a child in the eyes of the law, because only "adults" can be put under legally binding contracts, even the majority of animal shelters won't allow you to adopt any animals unless you are 18+.

Sushi lives in the US o.o; See, my parents are a bit loose because of the boy thing. Now, they really just don't care. And they used to freak out if I told them that I was going to the mall with someone who was 16 and driving. One friend of mine, Britt, drives a Pontiac sports car that goes to 140mph, and is a lead foot. I tell my mom that, and she's like, "Okay, have fun ;D" o.o Maybe they just want you to be safe? Or like Bama said, they just want you to stay that one age forever.

Hibachi · April 2010

@Sunny: I know she's in the US, in other countries ages differ on when you are considered an adult.

I know how to be responsible and safe, they just don't trust my judgement. When I first started dating Jeffrey they where like "I want to meet this boy, I don't know him blahblahblah" and my mom was saying how she has better judgement on people than I do......and NOW they like him, so apparently my judgement was good. Not to mention after they meet all my friends they like them. :roll:

SunnyDaysDontLie · April 2010

Avla wrote:

@Sunny: I know she's in the US, in other countries ages differ on when you are considered an adult. I know how to be responsible and safe, they just don't trust my judgement. When I first started dating Jeffrey they where like "I want to meet this boy, I don't know him blahblahblah" and my mom was saying how she has better judgement on people than I do......and NOW they like him, so apparently my judgement was good. Not to mention after they meet all my friends they like them. :roll:

Ohh xD Okay. D; I hate it when parents get like that.,

RoyalRaccoon · April 2010

Avla wrote:

@Sushi- I was afraid to GO anywhere because of the boy thing, my friend angela and her boyfriend where going to the mall and asked if I wanted to go, so I asked if I could go and my dad said no, JUST because Angela's boyfriend was driving. That's the thing it's NOT in their house, I'm not in Florida right now, and I am going back in May to get all of my things. And for me, 18 is a big number, in America it is by law considering you an adult. I couldn't buy an apartment at 15, 16, 17, because I am still considered a child in the eyes of the law, because only "adults" can be put under legally binding contracts, even the majority of animal shelters won't allow you to adopt any animals unless you are 18+.

I'm still afraid to go out with just a single boy, or my mom thinks something is up. I always have to do group activities(when she approves them). Well, if it's not in their house, and the animals are staying where you currently are, then it might be slightly different. Talk to the person/people(aren't you with your grandparents?) you are staying with. As said, I do live in America. I'm also 18. Other than gaining a whole bunch more responsibilities(bills mostly), there wasn't anything really magical about it. Yeah, legally you are an adult, but that doesn't mean everyone else will see you that way. You can't change people's opinions. I might be 18, but I still think people who are 18 are still to young for many things. Being an adult is all about experience, and you're probably not going to begin experiencing most of those things until after you are 18. This is just my opinion that obviously contrasts with others opinions.

Avla wrote:

I know how to be responsible and safe, they just don't trust my judgement. When I first started dating Jeffrey they where like "I want to meet this boy, I don't know him blahblahblah" and my mom was saying how she has better judgement on people than I do......and NOW they like him, so apparently my judgement was good. Not to mention after they meet all my friends they like them.

I'm sure they don't feel you have bad judgment. It's just that they've been alive at least twice as long as you(more experience), and you are their "little" girl, so they probably just want to make sure you are safe. After all, how can they know you have good judgment unless they also judge the people you bring home? I actually go to my mom for second opinions all the time, because "two heads are better than one."

Hibachi · April 2010

PrinceSushi wrote:

 I'm still afraid to go out with just a single boy, or my mom thinks something is up. I always have to do group activities(when she approves them). Well, if it's not in their house, and the animals are staying where you currently are, then it might be slightly different. Talk to the person/people(aren't you with your grandparents?) you are staying with. As said, I do live in America. I'm also 18. Other than gaining a whole bunch more responsibilities(bills mostly), there wasn't anything really magical about it. Yeah, legally you are an adult, but that doesn't mean everyone else will see you that way. You can't change people's opinions. I might be 18, but I still think people who are 18 are still to young for many things. Being an adult is all about experience, and you're probably not going to begin experiencing most of those things until after you are 18. This is just my opinion that obviously contrasts with others opinions.

Your mom still has to approve of dating?

Yes, I am currently with my grandparents, but will be moving on my own in August when my boyfriend gets out of community college and heads to a University. I know you are in the U.S.

Personally, I wouldn't mind paying bills and being on my own, I am probably more independent than most. I enjoy responsibility and I don't mind learning new things/gaining experience. But, the great thing about living with my grandparents is that they give me slack, if I go somewhere with Jeffrey they don't ask 50 questions because they know I am responsible and I always arrive wayyy before my curfew.

I'm sure they don't feel you have bad judgment. It's just that they've been alive at least twice as long as you(more experience), and you are their "little" girl, so they probably just want to make sure you are safe. After all, how can they know you have good judgment unless they also judge the people you bring home? I actually go to my mom for second opinions all the time, because "two heads are better than one."

My mom has told me flat out that she has better judgement than me, I can understand the whole daughter thing not wanting me to grow up - but it's gonna happen and soon. The reason I "know" I have good judgement is because I know right from wrong and I am wise who I pick and chose, reason why I have very few friends. As said before, I can never go to my parents because I have been told my whole life no and/or they blow things out of proportion, I also went through a very rebellious stage in life when I was about 15 - if I had more freedom at that time I think I wouldn't have acted out, but that's a whole new story. I've been on a tight VERY tight leash my whole life, I think this year has been the first year that they have loosened that leash a little.

RoyalRaccoon · April 2010

Avla wrote:

PrinceSushi wrote:

 I'm still afraid to go out with just a single boy, or my mom thinks something is up. I always have to do group activities(when she approves them). Well, if it's not in their house, and the animals are staying where you currently are, then it might be slightly different. Talk to the person/people(aren't you with your grandparents?) you are staying with. As said, I do live in America. I'm also 18. Other than gaining a whole bunch more responsibilities(bills mostly), there wasn't anything really magical about it. Yeah, legally you are an adult, but that doesn't mean everyone else will see you that way. You can't change people's opinions. I might be 18, but I still think people who are 18 are still to young for many things. Being an adult is all about experience, and you're probably not going to begin experiencing most of those things until after you are 18. This is just my opinion that obviously contrasts with others opinions.

 Your mom still has to approve of dating? Yes, I am currently with my grandparents, but will be moving on my own in August when my boyfriend gets out of community college and heads to a University. I know you are in the U.S. Personally, I wouldn't mind paying bills and being on my own, I am probably more independent than most. I enjoy responsibility and I don't mind learning new things/gaining experience. But, the great thing about living with my grandparents is that they give me slack, if I go somewhere with Jeffrey they don't ask 50 questions because they know I am responsible and I always arrive wayyy before my curfew. 

I'm sure they don't feel you have bad judgment. It's just that they've been alive at least twice as long as you(more experience), and you are their "little" girl, so they probably just want to make sure you are safe. After all, how can they know you have good judgment unless they also judge the people you bring home? I actually go to my mom for second opinions all the time, because "two heads are better than one."

 My mom has told me flat out that she has better judgement than me, I can understand the whole daughter thing not wanting me to grow up - but it's gonna happen and soon. The reason I "know" I have good judgement is because I know right from wrong and I am wise who I pick and chose, reason why I have very few friends. As said before, I can never go to my parents because I have been told my whole life no and/or they blow things out of proportion, I also went through a very rebellious stage in life when I was about 15 - if I had more freedom at that time I think I wouldn't have acted out, but that's a whole new story. I've been on a tight VERY tight leash my whole life, I think this year has been the first year that they have loosened that leash a little.

Yeah, pretty much. As long as I live in her house, it's her rules. I guess it works for me, but other kids would hate it. I'd much rather complete college and university before dating. My grandmother is more strict that my mother, but she's not the type to ask questions. She's the type where you behave, or you can immediately leave. Going out with boys, while staying with her would be a "no." I don't mind paying bills either, it just wasn't what I had initially expected as a 17 year old. Things really add up. Maybe it's just California, but there is honestly no way I could support myself while still in college. For me, it's either pay for school, or pay for my own housing(through 2 jobs); not both. Between all of that I also have to fit in my pets, clothes, etc. Just remember that you are only 17, almost 18. If all goes to plan you've lived a very short portion of your life. There are plenty of years to own various animals, and experience various things.

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Are you going to bug me the rest of my life?

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